Ariadne Magazine

Ariadne Magazine

Matthew Zapruder

Issue One

What’s So Weird 

On the day you were born 

the Electric Prunes sang 

I’ve had too much to dream

on the television

and there was an ice storm

during an ice storm,

when it ended the trees

creaked but no one 

understood they were warning

each other that soon

the power would change 

hands and the elves 

would be subservient 

to the other elves who

were slightly bigger but

less perceptive so gradually

they would cede all their 

tree holes to common animals

and have to go live 

in another dimension

whence they could only send

us messages through 

scraps of paper 

at our feet we don’t notice 

as we walk to the bar 

to meet friends

to celebrate another year

has left us more or less

ourselves, scathed yes

but still here drinking

the ancient elixir

of agreeing with the ones

who rule all the elements

we know plus some others

the elves depend on to make

their tiny little weapons

that kill wood demons

but now it’s just traditional

because they don’t live in trees

and the wood demons

are scared and hiding

and the real demons 

are the ones we can see

and the elves keep trying

to tell us something

but we listen to something

else that tells us poison

only comes in little bottles

with skulls on them.

About Matthew Zapruder
Poet and editor Matthew Zapruder was born in Washington, DC. ... He earned a BA in Russian literature at Amherst College, an MA in Slavic languages and literature at the University of California, Berkeley, and an MFA in poetry at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst.